it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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