I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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