Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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