Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
