btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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