she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
