It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
