Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
