It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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