Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
