Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
