there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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