I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
