Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
