do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
