Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
