a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
This girl is more easily done than said...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
