Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
