If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
