Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
