He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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