this just has baby written all over it
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
