I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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