im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
