Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize