He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
