listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
