that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
