matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize