You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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