Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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