Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
