I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
sex in a hospital.. check
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
