ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
