I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This is the high leading the old right now
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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