Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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