I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Randomize
