Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
