We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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