I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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