SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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