and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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