just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Panties = found
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
