FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
