ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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