I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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