he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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