i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
