So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
