White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
