Your mouth is God's brothel.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The air taste purple.
Randomize
