yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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