Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize