porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
