For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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