So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
