My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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