I just pynch a tree in the face
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
