Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
